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Call In The Political Bomb Squad Because 4 Just Dropped

October Surprise

[Blind Gossip] October can be a month of surprises, and these two political teams are going into overdrive trying to guess what the other team’s “October Surprise” is going to be, and how to best combat it. Each side has narrowed it down to four possibilities:

Team 1 believes the Surprise could be about:

1. Their candidate’s past homosexual encounters

2. Their candidate’s serious health issue

3. Official records that contradict significant claims about their candidate’s personal history


4. Internal communications about a critical campaign issue that disprove official statements made about the issue

Team 2 believes the Surprise could be about:

1. Their candidate pressuring a staff member to keep a baby

2. Inappropriate overtures their candidate made to a past employee

3. Tax records that directly contradict a previous statement made by their candidate


4. Controversial statement made by their candidate about members of another race/religion

Here are the four issues that have surfaced in the past couple of days:

  • Barack Obama is being accused of knowing that the embassy attack in Benghazi Libya on September 11, 2012 was a terrorist act on the same day it happened, but continuing to blame the anti-Muslim video to deflect responsibility from his administration. Source: Reuters 
  • Barack Obama is being accused (by Donald Trump) of hiding records (college records, passport applications) from the 1980s that reveal his true birthplace. Trump is offering $5 million for the records. Source:Politico
  • Mitt Romney is being accused (by Gloria Allred) of lying about the value of Staples to help a friend with his divorce settlement in 1991. Allred is trying to get private divorce records unsealed. Source:Washington Post
  • Mitt Romney is being accused of pressuring a woman to give birth to a baby despite the fact that the pregnancy endangered the woman’s health. Source: National Enquirer

Do any of these items change your mind about your preferred candidate?

So, to sum up all the rumors:

Barack Obama is a gay, HIV positive, cocaine-dealing, foreign-born, video-blaming, almost-divorcing, suicidal pothead Muslim liar.

Mitt Romney is a woman-hating, stock-manipulating, tax-dodging, voter-suppressing, China-outsourcing, adoption-forcing, flip-flopping elitist liar.

Happy Election Season, everyone! Only two more weeks to go!

See Also: Spoiler Alert: We Got Bin Laden
              Romney Makes My Ears Bleed
              Mitt Romney And That Bitter Divorce

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