– I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
– MapQuest should really to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I
know how to get out of my neighborhood.
– Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
-I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
-You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything
productive for the rest of the day.
-Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu-ray? I don’t
want to have to restart my collection.
-There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
-Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what was going on when I first
-The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to
finish a text.
– LOL has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
– Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
test is absolutely petrifying.
– Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”,
all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
– How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod
and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
-I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
-Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly
nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be
-I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me
if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I
swear I did not make any changes to.
– “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.
– I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not
seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
-When I meet a new guy, I’m terrified of mentioning something she
hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light
-I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle,
then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
-Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising
speed for pedophiles….
-Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still
not know what time it is.
-I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to
answer when they call.