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Funeral Home Slogans


  • You shoot em, we suit em.
  • Coffins so nice, you’ll die to have one.
  • Good mourning! If you’re dead serious about saving money, check out our killer prices.
  • We’re dead serious.
  • Not feeling so hot? Think you might drop? We can save you a lot, so make us your last stop.
  • People are dying to do business with us.
  • Put them in the ground, With no money down.
  • We’ll make you look good because God doesn’t like ugly.
  • Coffins so nice, you’ll wanna die twice.
  • No matter when your dying day, we have casket lay-a-way.
  • You stab em, we grab em.
  • You might be ugly now, but we will have you looking drop dead gorgeous.
  • 50% off if you text us while driving. See you soon.
  • if you can’t stop coughin, you might as well buy your coffin.
  • You slay ’em, we’ll lay ’em (in the ground).
  • Half off now on unused caskets from the May 21 Rapture.
  • When death comes knocking on your door; come knocking on ours.
  • Our Services are Recommended by 4 out of 5 Dead People.
  • Don’t end up dead at some dump; call us now while your still here to decide.
  • For an additional fee, we’ll keep the Westboro Baptist crazies away.
  • Caskets so cheap make you wanna kill yo mama.
  • Quality service is irrelevant when your dead.
  • A place where everybody is fresh to death.
  • Our day begins when your day ends.
  • We’ll make you look drop-dead gorgeous.
  • Can u trust us? Of corpse you can.
  • You shouldn’t be caught dead anywhere else.
  • You wouldn’t wake up, so we added make-up.
  • What happens in the embalming room, stays in the embalming room.
  • We’ll tuck you in.
  • Everyone’s dying to get in.
  • Best bed in town.
  • We put the fun in funeral.
  • We have them here, dead or alive.
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